As the holidays are approaching fast it can be a time of both excitement and tension, particularly
for introverts. I like to think about people and our emotional tank as a battery. For extroverts,
they wake up and their battery is overall empty. During their day with each social interaction,
their battery bar increases. Introverts are the opposite. Introverts wake up every day with their
emotional tank full. During the day and with each social interaction, their battery bar gets
depleted a little each time until they feel like they are empty and drained and the only way to
recharge their battery is to isolate. It’s kind of difficult to isolate when there is an event or two
each week or weekend during the holidays. If you’re the person that feels more drained after
social gatherings, it’s important to maintain your mental well-being to survive and maybe even
work towards thriving this holiday season.
1. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Not the expectations that your family has
or the expectations that friends have. Your expectations. You don’t have to attend every party or
event that you are invited to. Choose events that not only matter the most to you but also the
events that will likely leave you feeling exhilarated at the most and at the least not exhausted.
And give time between events so you have an opportunity to be able to recharge.
2. Plan Your Escape
Have an escape plan when attending events. Whether this is to text or call a friend, set a time to
leave, or even driving yourself (no carpool or hitching a ride with someone else) to the event.
This allows you to know that you can leave when you’re feeling like it’s too much. This might
mean just a mental break away for a few minutes to be able to go back to the event with a
different mindset or it might mean calling it a night and recharging at home. Either way, having a
plan and being honest with yourself about what you are feeling is important.
3. Engage in Small Talk Prep
Have some small talk topics in queue. Small talk seems so impersonal and superficial, and
introverts dread it. They feel awkward and struggle with knowing what to say next. Having a few
starter conversations prepped and on focused areas can help set up these moments for success.
Pick some topics that you’re comfortable talking about (i.e. favorites holiday traditions, recent
movies, favorite holiday memory or gift given or received, work or social life update-only things
you’re okay with sharing). Have a few go-to topics and questions to help the flow of
conversations without feeling forced.
4. Buddy System
Remember the buddy system from when you were in grade school. You buddied up with another
person and checked in with them during an event, activity, or the day. You always knew where
your buddy was. Take this idea and apply it now. When possible, bring a buddy to an event.
Have this be a person that is aware and understands you as an introvert and some of the subtle
behaviors and traits that come with this. You can agree to have signals to check in with one
another throughout the event to help you both feel comfortable and to have an exit strategy
planned and ready to execute.
5. Embrace Quiet Moments
Take a breather when necessary. This can be the first line of defense when feeling overwhelmed
or uneasy. It can be powerful to step outside for a breather, go to a quiet room and put a timer on
yourself to scroll social media, play a game, or read a quick article. Embrace this as a moment to
gather your thoughts, add to your battery life (emotional), and then to regain energy to continue
to participate socially.
6. Focus on Meaningful Connections
It might seem rude; however, instead of working the entire room, seek out the few people that
you genuinely want to connect with that day. Deep and more personal conversations are often
more rewarding and recharging for the introvert, especially in a larger group. Look for those that
share your interests or values or that you have history with engaging with better and gravitate to
them.
7. Create a Personal Retreat at Home
If you’re the one hosting a party, design a space that is off limits to others but can be a retreat
when needed. Having a quiet space for a brief reflection can help you center yourself and move
through an event. Having a set time for the event to conclude will also be a way to create control
and therefore comfort in the situation. This doesn’t need to be a hard end of event time but be
honest with your guests about any time boundaries.
8. Plan Post-Event Relaxation
After a day of socializing, schedule some well needed downtime for yourself. Try to avoid doing
back-to-back events as this often leaves little time to recharge. Find what will be relaxing for
you. This can be a good book, binge watching your favorite series, at home spa day, whatever it
is use these moments of solitude to add to your emotional battery bank.
9. Mind Your Energy Levels
Be mindful of your emotional energy throughout the holiday season. If you have several events
lined up, make sure to be intentional with your quieter days in between to recuperate. Listen to
your body and always prioritize your self-care. There’s no shame in taking a day off from work
or simply declining an event because you need some extra time. Everyone screams self-care until
it’s time to practice self-care. You’re the only one that has control over slowing down and setting
these boundaries.
10. Celebrate Your Introversion
Finally, remember there is no shame in the introvert game. Being an introvert is a strength.
Introverts might keep their circle small but those that are in their circle and that they social with
on deeper levels are special and they are trusted. That’s the group that the introvert feels safe in
and can truly be themselves. Maybe an introvert isn’t the life of the party, but their thoughtful
insights and deep connections are invaluable and true connections.
The holiday season doesn’t have to be a source of stress and dread for introverts. With some
planning ahead, self-awareness and self-care, one can navigate social events that honor not only
your needs but also the consideration of others. Focus on connections that feel more rewarding
and have some fun with it. Don’t forget to take time to step back and breathe along the way
making room for you and your emotional health during this busy time. Happy socializing!
