It seems like everywhere you turn, you hear someone identifying what bothers them or what causes a negative emotional reaction. Just yesterday, I caught myself saying that I was “triggered” by the tag of my shirt rubbing against the back of my neck—so much so that I had to change shirts just to feel comfortable. But what exactly is a trigger?
A trigger is something that sets off a chain reaction for someone. Like the trigger of a gun, it initiates a series of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. When a trigger occurs, we have a thought and an emotional response to it, and then we act based on that reaction. A trigger can be anything—an event, a person, a place, a thought, an emotion, even an anniversary. The list is endless. Typically, when we talk about triggers, we’re referring to things that provoke negative or unhelpful thoughts and uncomfortable emotions.
Someone might say, “Don’t yell at me. When people yell, I’m triggered.” While hearing yelling may indeed be a trigger, that example suggests someone else is responsible for managing our responses. In reality, it’s up to each of us to recognize our triggers and work toward actively managing, coping with, and navigating them in healthy ways. That’s the only way we can continue to move forward—even if we’re feeling emotionally uncomfortable.
But that’s a conversation for another day (or another blog).
We hear about triggers all the time—but what about glimmers?
So, what is a glimmer?
Glimmers are small, short-lived moments that make us feel safe, connected, validated, happy—all the things we’re often seeking. Just like triggers bring discomfort, glimmers bring comfort. They’re fleeting, but powerful. These are the daily moments that put a smile on your face—if you’re looking for them.
It’s easy to believe there are no glimmers in your day-to-day life, especially when you’re focused on discomfort. We can become conditioned to dwell on stress: the to-do lists, the hard conversations, the moments when we didn’t feel like our best selves. Day in and day out, we focus on how we were triggered—by traffic, by our boss, by our kids not listening, and everything in between. When we only see the triggers, the glimmers fade into the background.
But what if you tried noticing glimmers a few times each day? What might change in how you feel? In how you see the world? What could that shift do for your mental health or your relationships?
We’re naturally drawn to people who have a neutral or positive outlook. That kind of energy is contagious—it models behavior and creates a ripple effect. On the other hand, when we’re surrounded by people constantly focused on what triggers them and what feels unfair, we may find ourselves reflecting those same patterns.
Glimmers are like stopping to smell the roses.
They’re the moments that give us hope, comfort, or joy—even briefly. When you go to the grocery store and pass by the flowers, stop and smell them. Don’t get caught up in the thought that your partner never buys you flowers. You’re here, and you’re smelling them right now.
If you see a butterfly pass by, can you stop and appreciate the beauty? What about when your kids smile at you, or your cat curls up in your lap and purrs? When you get a text from someone you haven’t heard from in a while? When you take a warm shower, or spend a few minutes in your garden?
These are glimmers. And the question is: are you paying attention to them?
It’s helpful to intentionally set aside time to notice your glimmers. As much as we’d like to think we’ll remember on our own, our human brains need reminders. Try reflecting at the end of your day. Think about the glimmers you experienced. Share them with someone else—and ask about theirs. Write them down so you can revisit them later. Whatever method you choose, make a plan and commit to it.
Creating consistency is how we build new patterns. We didn’t become a society obsessed with talking about triggers overnight—and we won’t start seeing glimmers overnight either.
Balancing Triggers and Glimmers
Focusing on glimmers doesn’t mean ignoring your triggers. It means making space for both. It’s about finding balance—acknowledging when something has emotionally impacted you, while also noticing the good, however small. Integrating glimmers into your awareness helps create emotional range. It reminds us that not everything is all bad or all good.
No matter your approach, it’s worth focusing on what brings you joy in this ever-changing life filled with challenges. Because even in the chaos, we can still pause, smell the roses, and hold onto the moments that make us smile.
